Today I met an old friend for lunch. It was so great to catch up and see her. We hadn’t seen each other since Michaela was born.
We chatted about kids (she has two) and the crazy newborn stage. We chatted about life in general and were having a great time.
I admitted to her that I’ve only been away from my near three month old once. Her response shocked me! “If you’re feeling like you don’t want to leave her, maybe you should see someone about it.” Excuse me?! I’m still in the honeymoon phase. I have no desire to leave her. The fact is, I like hanging out with my daughter.
While we were having the conversation, the comment didn’t bother me too much. I know her heart was in a good place. But once I left lunch, I was thinking back at the conversation and the comment made me sad.
I come from a unique situation. I’m not just a “new mom”. I’m a mom who previously lost a baby. One, I’m not at the point where I want to leave her. I love hanging out with this little girl. Two, I’m not to a point yet where I trust anyone enough to leave her with (except my husband, of course, who watched her the that one time I was away). Three, if something happened to her, especially while away from my care, my life would crumble. Think all you want that “nothing will happen, don’t be so dramatic.” But sadly I live a life knowing that something could happen at any moment. It already happened to me.
Later in the conversation I think she realized what she had said and started backpeddling. She said, “well, you know, if in a few months you’re still feeling like you don’t want to leave her, maybe then it’s time to talk to someone about it. She needs to get used to being taken care of by others.” Please, don’t go any further.
Some may think I’m being overprotective. Some may think I’m crazy. Some may think I’m just acting like a normal first time mom. Frankly, I don’t care what others think. Until you are in my shoes, don’t judge me!