It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted. I guess life has been pretty normal lately. Just counting the days until this baby arrives. We finally got our csection scheduled!!! December 1st at 7:30AM. I simply cannot wait. 11 weeks from today! It feels better at this point to count down the weeks than keep counting up to 40 weeks (or 39 and 2 days in my case). I hope this little girl stays in there until December 1st. I’m so focused on that day, she’d throw me for a loop if she came earlier.
This morning we had our monthly growth ultrasound. She’s measuring in the 77th percentile for weight at 3 pounds 3 ounces. The pregnancy sites say she should be about 2 1/2 pounds right now; she’s well above that. Good thing she’s coming 2 weeks earlier than Joshua or she may be a 9 pounder!
Our ultrasound tech was so friendly today. We’ve had her twice before and the first time she was a grouch, so I was pleasantly surprised with her peppiness today! We got done with the growth portion in about 5 minutes. I was laying there hoping she wouldn’t stop the ultrasound yet. We brought our moms to the appointment today to see the baby. We had them come to our 20 week ultrasound with Joshua and looking back I’m so happy we did since it was the only time they were able to see him alive. I cherish these ultrasounds being that the baby is alive and healthy today. I know some might take ultrasounds for granted, but I just can’t get enough of them.
Today, the ultrasound tech was nice enough to look around and find good photo opps for us! She was sleeping today, eye closed and so peaceful. For a moment I panicked. We hadn’t seen her move on the ultrasound yet and I hadn’t felt her move since early morning. I was waiting to see the flicker of the heart, but the tech wasn’t to that spot yet. Finally we saw the heartbeat and I had a wave of relief come over me. I think that may be something only a loss mom would feel or understand. We were able to see her cute chubby cheeks and soft lips! We got a cute profile picture, verified for the third time that she’s a girl, saw her little toes, and actually saw that she has hair. I wasn’t sure she’d have hair since I haven’t had much heartburn. I know that’s a old wives’ tale, but Joshua had so much hair that was accompanied by so much heartburn. I figured since I hadn’t had much this pregnancy that she’d come out bald.
After the ultrasound, we had an OB appointment. The nurse called us back. The same nurse from our first OB appointment where she blurted out “you’re back soon!” Today she recognized us but didn’t remember that Joshua had died. “How old is your baby now?” she asked. I paused, “ahh, he passed away at birth.” You could see that she realized she had put her foot in her mouth. She got uncomfortable and was sorry she had asked. Ugh, I wish people would read charts before blurting things out like that. But I suppose that’s part of this life I was given. Someone will always be there to say something like that.
I recently read a post about things to do during pregnancy after loss. One piece of advice was to work with the hospital to let them know what your expectations are for your nurses. It suggested having nurses who are skilled in bereavement and loss. I’m happy I read that article. I’m planning to reach out to the hospital to see if the nurses could be made aware of our situation before coming into the room. I’m hoping to avoid things like, “is this your first?”
On a lighter note, last night I was getting ready for bed and walked out into the hallway. Behr, our 7 year old Husky Lab mix, was sleeping in the baby’s room. I turned on the light to take a photo and she was not pleased with me (hence the face), but it’s too cute of her. She did this when I was 33 week pregnant with Joshua and has done it a few times now throughout this pregnancy. I think she’s ready to be a protective big sister.