Tuesday we had our mid-pregnancy ultrasound at the perinatal specialist. We were referred to the specialist for a high level view of our baby since we don’t know what happened with Joshua. What an amazing day to be able to see my little peanut!
We sat down with a nurse who asked us basic questions like, “have you had any health issues, do you feel safe in your relationship?” Then she told us, “the ultrasound tech won’t be able to tell you anything about the ultrasound, but you’ll meet with the doctor right after. She’ll be watching your ultrasound from the other room.” Hearing that made my slightly anxious. This ultrasound had been highly anticipated and if something was wrong, I wanted to know right away.
Once she put the wand on my stomach and we saw the baby, all that worry went away. The baby was adorable. Everything looked perfect to me! 10 fingers, 10 toes, a cute little nose, and perfect lips. The baby was so wiggly that I think the tech was getting irritated. She was having a hard time getting a good view of things. But I was enjoying watching my little munchkin on the screen being so active. The baby is super active in my tummy, it was amazing to see that activity on the screen.
The baby had its hand in front of its face the entire time. When we tried to get a shot of the face straight on, you could see both arms and behind just a little nose and mouth. So adorable! Once I saw the profile, I thought of Joshua. They look so alike (at least in the womb). Here’s a picture of my two kids! The top one is Joshua. Twins!
Towards the end, we found out the gender. We didn’t find out the gender with Joshua. I loved the surprise! Part of me wanted to keep it a surprise again, but this pregnancy is so different. It has been met with a lot of fear and anxiety and I wanted to know the gender to be able to have a new level of bonding with the baby. One that I didn’t need. I didn’t want to get to birth and for some odd reason be disappointed with the gender. Not that it matters. I want a healthy baby! As explained in the post Boy or Girl, I want a baby boy for certain reasons and I want a baby girl for certain reasons. Both reasons even out for me and I don’t mind which gender we have! Just a baby in my arms. A breathing, lovely baby that I can grow old with!
Anyhow, I digress! The baby was so squirmy, we didn’t get an amazing view, but it’s a girl! I’m having a girl. It’s hard to believe! My husband was convinced from the beginning that it was a girl. I wasn’t sure. I have felt so differently this pregnancy that I thought it may be a girl. About 80% of the old wives tales pointed towards a girl. But I thought Joshua was going to be a girl and I was clearly wrong, so I wasn’t confident in my thoughts that this time it was a girl. Plus, I thought that since I had a boy last time, I’d have a boy this time. I know that rational doesn’t make any sense!
The ultrasound tech moved onto other parts to check and at the end, I asked, “can we just double check the gender? I want to be sure.” To my surprise she responded, “I’ve seen it a hundred times, it’s a girl.” Okay! I guess I’ll trust her.
Once we were done, we met with the doctor. She walked in and congratulated us on the upcoming baby. I was on the edge of my seat, “so, everything looks good?” She responded with a yes. “So, the heart, the kidneys, everything looks good? The baby is growing properly?” She smiled and responded with a yes again. She probably thought I was a little crazy, but I was just so anxious to make sure everything was okay!
The doctor started asking us about what happened with Joshua. She had some of my charts but asked what happened, if he looked normal or if he seemed to have any abnormalities, what size he was. It was hard to relive those memories. I almost wanted to ask her to stop probing, but she’s trying to help me bring this little girl home with us. She is recommending a few extra test to my normal doctor as well as a few “wellness” ultrasounds in the later weeks of pregnancy.
It’s hard to believe I’ll be bringing home a little girl. Since we didn’t find out the gender last time, it was all baby. Not he, she, him, her. Just “the baby”. I understand the concept of having a baby, but it’s hard to believe I’m having a little girl. Will she be into tutus and dolls? Will she like Tonka Trucks and cars instead? I can’t wait to see what she’s like! Only 4 more months! And I’m thrilled she’s healthy!