Today we had our first OB appointment. We had our ultrasound a few weeks ago to check “viability”, but we didn’t see a doctor. Today I’m 9 weeks 3 days and I’m bloated! I don’t know how I’m going to be able to hide this for 3-4 more weeks. At 9 weeks, I look like I did at 15 weeks last time. There’s no hope for sucking it in.
We checked in and sat down in the waiting room for a bit. The nurse came out and called my name. “Hey, you’re back soon! I recognize you guys.” I figured I could just play along for a little without announcing to the waiting room that my baby died. “Congrats, how old is your baby?” We were out of the waiting room at this time, so I said, “our baby died during birth.” Her whole demeanor changed. She said she was sorry and asked a couple questions which I was okay with. She took my height, weight, and brought me to the room to check my blood pressure. She hardly spoke another word to me in the room other than “the nurse will be with you soon”.
When she left the room, I wanted to cry. I turned to my husband and told him I was surprised she didn’t know. I figured my chart would have red flags all over it. Maybe she didn’t look. My husband turned to me and said, “it’s okay, these are just the things we’ll have to go through”.
The nurse came in. “How are you feeling…..Scared?” I know her intentions were good, but do you need to rub it in my face? Yes, I’m scared but I’m trying to forget about my fear and move forward with excitement like my last pregnancy. The appointment went well. After a couple Q&A, I asked if we’d be able to heartbeat. “Maybe. 9 weeks is still a little early. It’s usually between 10-12 weeks that we are able to hear it but we’ll try. Just know, if we don’t find it, don’t be nervous.” She started the Doppler on the left side of my stomach. Then moved to the middle where she found my heartbeat. Then to the right where Joshua’s heartbeat was always found. That’s the sweet spot. She found it! A quick 168 beats per minute. That is seriously the best sound in the world! It made my day. My week. My next 4 weeks until I hear it again.
I walked out of the doctor’s office so happy and relieved. After seeing the heartbeat at 6 weeks and hearing it at 9 weeks, my risk of a miscarriage is decreased! But I know a miscarriage isn’t the only thing I need to worry about. I know things can happen at any time. Still, it’s great to know everything is going well so far. I feel a huge sigh of relief.
Now I want to fast forward to my perinatal ultrasound at 18 weeks where they’ll take a detailed scan of each and every little thing about the baby. More-so than the typical 20 week anatomy scan. Only 9 more weeks until I get to see the baby again!!